little miss sunshine: appetite off - clean the house

my thought started with 'thanks god we have oat, at least my tummy safe from gastric pains (maag in indonesian) otherwise i will eat instant noodles just like my brother did.'

around 9.30pm. i feel hungry (not starving) and if i don't eat, i'm still okay. just like what i did last night. too lazy or too sleepy for me to put food on my mouth. i know this thing isn't healthy for my body. i don't have any appetite right now. when i see my daily food i just feel so-so. the food doesn't attract me (is it the right words?), even the pretty fancy good looking food tastes so-so in my mouth. i wonder why, is it because i feel immune. i remember the first time i eat at famous dessert place that was the best tasty food i ever taste. but the last time it just so-so, not that great when the first time.

i will eat when i feel hungry. so when i lost my appetite i don't feel or don't want to eat at all. i ever done that for 3 or 5 days (i forgot). i dunno why, is it because my parents didn't provide snacks that i like. or is it because my tongue is picky, because i ever experienced the tasty food and it makes everything tasteless. now with my job, i gratefully can taste food in fancy places, but since i lost my appetite their fancy food looks so-so in my mouth.

is it because i'd rather spend money on other than food, like little silly cute things, shoes, clothes. i thought if i spend my money on food, i don't have any memory to keep it. eventually i'll forget the variation taste of that food. keeping the same taste is hard, we never know how long the food will stay tasty. it'll lost, gone eventually. see what happen on my experience with the dessert place. i don't say their taste isn't good anymore, i say the taste is not good in my mouth.

my on and off appetite usually happen at least for one or two months. especially when my duty was really hectic and i'm on deadline pressure. but this time longer than usual. my short pants ever fits or a li'l small for my body, but yesterday it was very loose.

i don't need food to make my tummy full, i just need food to make my feeling fun. (menyenangkan bukan mengenyangkan)

i ever feel that tasty with roppan panakkukang. on the hectis of 2 new stores, 2 different outside java (manado & makassar), many changes, in-out aiport till it taste like on the bus. it healed my appetite and my body.

do you know Emma on Red Band Society series? i wonder am i gonna be like her. No. my gastric pains will pop up first, it will block anorexia.

when was the last time i feel hungry anytime? maybe it was around before ramadhan fasting period in august. along that period, there are many weddings with good looking food, but none of them tasty for me. i just eat for my tummy.

Sadly, i often spend on good looking food recently just because to hang out with friends or lunch at mall because of duty calls. i remember when i was just graduated from college my mom will prepare lunch box. but now, she's getting lazy to cook, maybe because of that too, no proper food that rise up my appetite. it's so different when i was senior high, minimum every week there was fish. is it because i need good food not only for my tummy but also for my brain.

boiled broccoli, boiled snaps, stir-fry kale and spicy eggplant, that things i can eat tastily. i am bored with chicken and beef. i prefer meat from water like shrimp, squid. no fish.

oh another reason, i don't like cooking. i prefer sit in front of computer browsing anything or watching movies.

i remember when my appetite was on, i can get anything, really any food get into my mouth. i don't care if it tasty or so-so, i can swallow them all. my thought at that time, i don't get it why everytime i put many food i always getting hungry the next early morning, even i had a lot of food the other night. it seems like they're gone.

i wonder, what moment can get this on again?

okay stop blabbering. i just realized today is christmas.
be merry!! for all who celebrate it.

since early december my brother and i was left by our parents. the house is really really dusty. i must clean it for a full day. it's better to do it in the early my nothing to do holiday which is started today. usually i can get up early on weekend, because my body already get used it. today at 11am i wake up. cleaning my face and brush teeth. i was searching for small vacum cleaner which i usually used to clean my kost-an long time ago. everywhere i searched but couldn't find it. i almost give up. in my mind i should get that thing to start this cleaning. if i don't get it, my mood goes bad. thanks God i found it on the first place where the big vacum was stored.

lesson learned : 'when i search for particular thing, make sure to look deep, go behind, go down, go deeper that storage or box or whatever. usually you'll find on the places that you have been search. it's your eyes don't look that particular thing.

maybe because of that vacum, i cleaned with no bad mood. it's the first time i clean the house. Hahaha, i feel proud. my sweat all over my body. it feels i was worked out. no need gym hah.

wanna get slim or make you sweat. just clean the entire house. no money waste at gym.

before i started to clean the thing, i clean the equipment first. i just feel the thing will get cleaner if i clean the thing with clean equipment.

the 3 brooms i washed it and dry it under the sunny. mop and tea cloth (tea? i mean cloth to clean things) also get cleaned by detergent. no wonder i finish at the afternoon.

christmas. i must say merry to my friends. my candycane isn't finish yet and i forget to transfer from office computer. but thanks to long lost colourlovers, their new pattern template makes me wanna to colour the pattern just like kindergarten.
it started with open inbox mail, get notif periplus have a year-end sale. stuck and find pretty little liars for 18.000rp. next maybe they got colouring books for adults. then i think why i have to pay it if i can get it free by download the pattern and print it. one of the sites said you can get into colourlovers. whoaa i already have that account, let's visit again, let's see what's new. and i currently in love with their pattern template.

i wonder is it any christmas template. yaiyy found it, although it's hard to find the nice and easy to colour.